Super random

A Movie Monday on an actual Monday! At this point that feels absurd! Which is why I'm posting this absurd video.

Note to self: NAILED the segue.

Action! Adventure! Suspense!

All of the things you have grown to expect from this blog!

But are consistently disappointed!

The Beatles remembered in the year 3k

A movie on a Wednesday? But there's no alliteration! Well maybe it IS Monday and you're just wrong. Scientists can't actually prove it's Wednesday.

Ah, whatever. I haven't posted in a billion years, you'll take what I give you.

Awesome teacher

Megabot!

Megabot, Ep. 1

Jamaican Doctor Who

Jesus will pwn your ass!

We will never forget...the Death Star!

Scottish Star Trek

High brow intellectual debate

Former KKK leader talks occupational difficulties

Awesome freeze....thing

There's something on your shirt

Woooooo! Finally, I updated something that's not a video! FEEL the EXCITEMENT!

Automatic Mario

I've seen the basic concept behind this before. People create elaborate stages in Super Mario World that cause Mario to pass automatically without pressing any buttons. This one is special in two ways. First, it is ridiculously long. Second, it coordinates the sounds Mario makes to music!

Russian Bike Trick

Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'?

As long as I'm disregarding my own formatting and posting videos that are too wide for my settings, here's another video that's too wide that I could make fit but I'm not going to:

Optimus and Megatron hash it out

Upgrade Complete

Once in a generation a game comes along that is awesome beyond all awesome. The awesomeness of this game can only be measured through an awesome mix of awesomosity and awesomitude. My knees shake when I stand in awe of the awesome awesomeness. The game is just...awesome.

While waiting for that game, try Upgrade Complete. It's pretty good too.

Kids know where the treasure is

Powerthirst!

Gratuitous amounts of energy!!!

Illegal to be a Jerk

This is a long one, but a good one. It gets across a good message, and it rhymes!

Mitch Hedberg

In honor of all these celebrities dropping like flies, here's a good video from one of my favorite comedians before he died. Actually, he could still be funny. His delivery is pretty deadpan, and I didn't see his casket so I have no way of knowing.

mitch hedberg

Learn to Fly

This is a quick little game, it shouldn't take more than an hour to pass the whole thing. You're a penguin trying to learn to fly. How cute! The first few runs you'll feel helpless, like nothing you do makes any difference. This is only because you're helpless and nothing you do makes any difference. Then you buy the glider, and the rocket. Now you can do something.

Yay for learning lessons!

Ali G interviews Posh and Becks

While you're watching this, try to keep in mind how huge Posh Spice and David Beckham are in England. They're as popular as getting fat is here in America.

You can find the video here. Normally I would embed the clip, but for some crazy reason the same person who is okay with posting the clip on YouTube is not okay with allowing embedding. That means I have to write more crap here or this post will feel empty. Yes, this post is all cutting itself and writing bad poetry about how unfair the world is.

It's totally Monday

Your calendar may say it's Tuesday, but that's a dirty lie. You and I both know that the only certainties in this world are death, taxes and the awesome reliability of my posting. So if I'm posting a "Movie Monday" today, that clearly means it's Monday.

Move over Keepon!

I'm sure many of you have already seen the Keepon dancing robot. It's pretty cute, but it gets smoked by this break dancing robot:

Nice tie

Cowboy Bebop AMV

Normally, "AMV" (anime music video) is synonymous with "crap." However, this is the best one, using the best anime, and from what I have seen the best song of any AMV (there's a lot of death metal and Dragonball Z).

Hexiom Connect

It's been a while since the last Flash game Friday. I'd like to say that's because my standards are high and I only want to post the best games, but then again there are a lot of lies I'd like to tell.

As a rule, puzzle games are mostly rip-offs of other puzzle games. There's something ironic about the designers in this genre not putting any creative thought behind their games. But Hexiom Connect is different, it's a concept I hadn't seen before. It's sort of like a jigsaw puzzle, with a little more thought put into it. At the lower levels, it's a game of "this piece must be in this space, which means that piece must be in that space," etc. At higher levels, there are 5 different possible pieces that can be put in any given space, so it becomes a tiresome chore of trying every different possible combination until one works. Or using a walkthrough.

Hopefully, they'll make a Hexiom Connect 2 which has more "intentional" feeling levels, but until then this one is worth a play through.

It's peanut butter jelly time!

Ellen DeGeneres Commencement Speach

Recently, Ellen DeGeneres gave a commencement speach at Tulane University, which for you geographically illiterate people is in New Orleans. Which is in Louisiana. Which is a state. A U.S. state.

Click on the video to get a bigger version.

It's Vince with Slap Chop!

As I'm sure most of you already know, the entire point to blogging is to steal other people's content and indirectly claim credit. So I hope you all understand the significance of my linking to the actual creator's site so that you can download the mp3 of this song, and how awesome I think this video is.

Cheating death

As most of you already know, I plan on living forever. I will be cheating death by telling him his shoelace is untied and then running off. Pure, genius, I know.

Retroshoot

Retroshoot is a space scroll shooter type game. The ship follows your mouse as you dodge and shoot things coming down the screen at you. One nice thing about this one is that you don't need to click to shoot, the shooting is just happening automatically all the time.

The powerups are the screwy thing. You'll learn to hate seeing any powerups other than the gun powerup. Don't get me wrong, the other powerups have their uses, and a few parts feel downright impossible without certain powerups. But the problem is how the gun powerups are done. After a certain amount of time after getting your last gun powerup, the level will go back down. Which powerup you get is totally random, so you might get really lucky or you might get screwed. 20 waves in, you could have a level 1 gun or you could have a level 15 gun.

Still a pretty entertaining game.

A simple man

Poor objectivists. For people that do whatever they want, things sure don't go their way very much. Speaking of things not going right, screwy ass Blogger decided to crop this image all on their own, so don't bother telling me what an asshat I am.

What kind of bank is this?

Sure, I totally abandoned you for over a week, but I can make it up to you with this fantastically awesome video:

Yay aliens!

They're so funny.

Time Lapse Video

You know how in every comedy there's a dramatic part that makes the film totally legit? Well, I post a lot of funny videos, so I thought I'd post one that isn't funny so I'll be legit. Perhaps even too legit. Some would argue even too legit to quit. Hey, hey!



The embedded version is way small, you can find the adult version here.

Airport Mania

Airport Mania is more like a demo. You can only play through the levels on two of the stages (out of I have no idea how many), but it's still pretty fun. If you really like it, you could even buy the full version. I feel like I should be getting some fat advertising dollars for this. At least enough to make my own bling bling rap video. Somebody get on that.

Better Left Unanswered

Ah, you prisoners and your ass rape. Hilarity for the whole family!

Damn you printer!

This is a documentary on how your printer works. It is 100% accurate, this is real footage from the field folks. I dodged grenades to bring this to you.

3LINES

This is a simple, but interesting and entertaining game. Ah, the essence of Flash games. The object is to eliminate all the tiles. The first few levels just basically show you what you're supposed to do. In the later levels, it matters more which pairs you remove in what order.

Aquaman sucks

It's true.

Bret, you got it goin' on

Since fully 50% of my readers expressed their opinion that this is the superior Flight of the Conchords video, who I am to deny their wishes? I like to think I give the people what they want.

GemCraft

Being the most popular flash game on the most popular flash site, this is just the kind of obscure thing I know you count on me to dig deep into the Internet and find. GemCraft contends for the best tower defense game, being fairly easy and intuitive. If you haven't played it before, the only advice I can really give you is that more is better than higher level.

Since I missed out on April Fool's Day this year, I'm going to tell you all that the reward for playing this is that they mail you real gems. Sure, the fact that I'm actually telling you it's a scam probably makes it less believable, but can you afford to take that chance?

A Little Moody

If there's one thing I love, it's a good "time of the month" joke. Actually, come to think of it there are a ton of things I love more than a "time of the month" joke. I'm not sure love is even the right word here. Maybe "like every once in a while." Just read the damn comic.

The Humans are Dead!

This is one of the best songs/clips from Flight of the Conchords. Sure, it has over 7 million views, which means you've probably already seen it before, but that's not why you come here. Wait, why do you come here? Forget I said anything and watch the video. Again, probably.

Music Catch

There are a lot of flash games out there like this, you move your mouse around and try to collect X while avoiding Y. I'm not sure I can quantify why I think Music Catch is the best. Maybe it's because I like the music, or maybe it's just well done, or maybe it's the fat stacks of cash they paid me to say so. Okay, okay, there are no fat stacks of cash. My life is sadly fat stacks of cash free.

The one thing I do have is a best score of 3.6 million. I'm sure it will impress all the ladies when I integrate it into my new pickup strategy. Apparently women don't dig Spider-man footy pajamas on their own, but I'm betting the combo is a sure thing.

Misinformation

I've heard this kind of crazy theory before, and I've always thought it was nonsense. Here's an excellent illustration as to why:

The Dark Buzz Knight-year

What's this? Two Movie Mondays in a row? Oh, that's right, I went on vacation and abandoned you like a Nebraska hospital.

Anyway, I'm making up for it all this week. Not that I'm doing more posts. Union rules, and all that. You understand. But I'm giving you some pretty solid posts, as opposed to the crap I would normally pawn off on you.

What makes this movie so great is not really the idea, but how well it's done. It's a Dark Knight preview audio with various Toy Story clips as the video. Fittingly, the Joker once again makes it.

In your face FAIL Blog!

Most videos on the internet end in humiliating failure. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the suffering of my peers as much as the next guy...who I hope is suffering. Your pain amuses me next guy! But this video is the opposite, people accomplishing amazing feats. Watch, and be inspired!

The Space Game

The creatively named Space Game is sort of a tower defense game that is set in, you guessed it, space. You mine asteroids while fighting off waves of space pirates. What makes it different is that the enemies could come from anywhere. This makes for interesting gameplay early on as it's impossible to surround yourself with defenses before the first wave, so you have to wait to see where they're coming from and rush to put up your defenses in the right place.

The "training" should teach you everything you need to know, so go get 'em tiger.

Garfield without Garfield

The sheer brilliance of this idea is outstanding. What happens when you take old Garfield strips and Photoshop out Garfield? The answer: you get Jon Arbuckle, lonely, unstable loser who is losing his grip or reality. Enjoy!

The best stupid car

The analysis on this is pretty self explanatory. The best part is how the host ponders what the world would be like if the creators had turned their abilities to addressing the world's problems.

Mastermind: World Conqueror

The concept for this game is one I've seen several times before, you're an evil mastermind trying to destroy the Earth. Actually, I'm not sure what kind of social commentary that makes for destroying the Earth to be a commonplace concept. Anyway, it's the implementation that really makes the game. Be sure to watch all the little clips, and do all the taunting at the end.

Mastermind: World Conqueror

Falcon...FIX!

Yay for learning lessons in life!

How Women Treat Men

This video seems slightly bitter to me, but then again it says "A Bitter Film" right in the beginning. It's also quite entertaining and damn funny at parts:

The eyeballing game

Okay, I'll just say it. The premise for this game is pretty mundane. You're trying to "eyeball" things like a right angle or where three lines converge. But it possesses that crack-like addictive quality that I've come to expect from flash games, and there's nothing wrong with me playing it and I can stop anytime I want I just don't want to and you can't stop me and you're not my real dad so you can't tell me what to do and...and...

What were we talking about?

Anyway, I get an average error of about 3 of their made up units, which it seems to indicate is pretty good, so it must be a skill related to staring at women's breasts.

It's a Valentine's Day miracle!

Sure Valentine's Day was last Saturday, but what can I say, I'm a helpless romantic for happy endings like this (click image for comic, because I think you've never been on the internets before):

Her Morning Elegance

Finally, someone did some stop motion that isn't just another lame fight scene. This is a music video for Oren Lavie, who I've never heard of but for all I know this is the number 1 song right now, you all have seen this a billion times and I'm just showing you what a dork I am.

Watch it anyway:

Oren Lavie - Her Morning Elegance
by IgnitionVM

Words used more than [insert Paris Hilton joke]

This game is way more entertaining than it might seem by the description. You have 12 minutes to name the 100 most commonly used English words. I'm not sure where they came up with the list, but it doesn't seem to be updated for words used on the internet because it's lacking words like "fail," "cat" and "ass-haberdasher."

My best score after many attempts is 96. See if you can top that by giving it a whirl.

Very Doggy

This comic is a lot more on the "cute" side of things I would normally post, so read it while I go kick a puppy or steal a baby's pacifier or something.

FIRST!!!!111!!!!11ONEONE!!11

i r on teh interwebz!